Introducing Ruby Joy Leah Harris! Born, Monday July 25th, 2:41pm. 8lbs 11oz and 19.5 inches long. We are absolutely overjoyed that she is here!

Ruby, a name we liked A LOT and the July birthstone, Joy after my middle name, Leah after my mother. A perfect name just for her.

The Big Day
We received our amnio results (more on that another day) within 2 hours and little Ruby’s lungs were mature! So Dale finished mowing the lawn and we drove to the hospital at 11:30 for a 1:30 c-section! We had amazing friends who already had Lindy for the next few days -a sleepover Lindy was counting the days down until!

Upon arrival, a few pieces of paperwork had to be done (again, because we had done the identical paperwork the 2 times earlier that week when we were admitted for observation). Do you see all the bags?

The head doctor of our practice talked us through what was going to happen -he was so chill. We were delayed slightly by a few things so he went and got some coffee, hung out with us. When it was time to go in, he wheeled me into the operating room. I said, “Doc, don’t you have an intern that can do this for you?”. My pre-op nurse couldn’t have been ANY nicer or better at her job. She was AMAZING. Why are all pre-op nurses so amazing?

Once inside, the spinal had to go in. My doctor gave me this huge bear hug and helped me relax while they were looking for that pocket between the bones in my spine. Slightly unnerving but the minute they started poking around, my doctor pinched my ear REAL hard and that was all I could think about. Nice move on his part. Once the spinal was in, within seconds it felt like a warm wave of water slowly creeping up my body. It sort of felt like I was hyperventilating -because it felt like I wasn’t breathing. He kept telling me to talk so that my brain new I was breathing. Again, nice to know these things.

Finally Dale got to come in -they were ready!

When she came out, she screamed and screamed and screamed. It was music to our ears. We cried and cried along with her. Big thing I wanted to hear was her blood glucose number…She was a rockstar 60 something -I breathed a sigh of relief. APGAR was 9. Apparently my doctor says they save 10 for pediatrician children. We had a good laugh.

We had 45 minutes of absolute bliss post-op. Holding, snuggling, nursing her.

Then, things went from heaven to absolute shock when the nurse came over and took her from me and shoved a bottle in her mouth. I was ANGRY. What are you DOING to my child?! I don’t want to give her formula. She immediately got on the phone and urgently asked for the NICU and an IV stat. It was a whirlwind. Now my favorite nurse became my arch nemesis. I had no idea the severity of the situation, but apparently, when they checked her blood glucose again in post-op, her number didn’t even register on the monitor -meaning it was so low, she was going into a coma. It was traumatic. My third child, AGAIN, taken from my arms. That nurse saved Ruby’s life. I cried and cried and cried and cried. My eyes hurt for days. My sweet baby taken to the NICU instead of to my room with me.

I didn’t expect that she’d be a NICU baby after our amazing 45 minutes of bliss -I thought we were FREE to be completely overjoyed. I was niave.

Ruby was rushed downstairs to the NICU, I was taken to my room, without my baby girl and completely disappointed in being a diabetic mother and that my child was struggling because of MY diabetes. I cried and cried and cried. Dale made most of the phone calls, I was so upset. Where had I failed? I wanted to be by her side, but we had to wait 2 hours. At the 2 hour mark, I was getting out of bed, hopping into a wheelchair and down to see her.

Then big sister Lindy arrived, looking absolutely adorable and elated to meet her baby sister.

Playing music for her.

So. being a IDM (Infant of a diabetic mother), Ruby’s pancreas was working overtime and causing her glucose levels to drop dangerously. Very typical for IDMs…if you remember, Lindy had similar issues. Thus begins the race to see how long she will be in the NICU.

We are SO GLAD she made it out safely and that God has given her to us!

*well, we have been so crazy the last 12 days that I never did update the blog. I have decided to write the next 12 days as if in real time…might be confusing but here goes! I will also be changing the dates so that 20 years from now it will be accurate*

So we are roughly 36 hours from meeting our baby girl and I should NOT have googled amnio videos. Ugh. I am FREAKED out by this amnio and my stomach just aches thinking about it.

Photo borrowed from Jama

I know it is not the end of the world and I’ve gone through worse procedures and we want the baby to come out safely…BUT I am freaked out.

I tried to refuse it about 8 times but apparently the delivering hospital will not allow “elective” c-sections without an amnio. Interesting thing is, I actually think my doctors would rather deliver ANY way if her lungs weren’t quite mature than all of us hold our breath for another week…me in and out of the hospital with every ache and pain. They are just as nervous as I am.

Sometimes I feel like I am the ONLY pregnant woman in my circle of friends that has to go through all this CRAP. Seriously. It is a lonely place.

I’m a tad bit emotional and scared. Just being honest.

Ok. I know. It is not fair for me to complain about a stupid needle when their are so many other problems in the world. I’d rather have this needle than NOT be pregnant. I’d rather have this needle than NOT taking my child home safely. I’d rather have this needle than go through all the IF needle junk.

Taking a deep breath now.

Well, I meant to post nursery pictures last night…but…well…lets just say there is no way we were at the hospital again last night for five hours. All is well; “my placenta is the most beautiful he has seen in a while”, that is an odd thing to hear from your doctor. Anyways…lets just call this one a chance to have another ultrasound. Don’t even ask. We are fine (Hannah says sheepishly).

Anyways…

Here, you can see the bags are packed!! I also purchased an adorable little library bag for Lindy off of etsy (my first purchase there) -her big sister gift bag for when she comes to the hospital. Has some of her favorite things in there, coloring books, cotton candy, puzzles and many more things that’ll keep her entertained in the hospital when she is visiting.

The nursery is ready. Funny thing is I don’t even plan on “using” it until 2-3 months in. You see, we bought a bassinet this time and I think we’ll leave it in our room so that I don’t have to traipse back and forth to the nursery all hours of the night. Why didn’t I think of that with Lindy?

We’ve got a little owl/forest/woods theme going on. Biggest nightmare was this pole I wanted for the room. Luckily I have a husband who can build pretty much anything. I couldn’t find the right kind of baskets and was willing to drop any kind of money on them. I looked everywhere in stores and online. Then. One day. I stopped into JoAnns and found the PERFECT basket and on sale for $3.50 each. Awesome.

Lindy and I had some craft time one day and whipped up some owls and a tree. Lindy made the three small ones above and I made the big ones below. I like how they turned out. Can you see one of Lindy’s owl’s winking? She was so stinking adorable. I’ll have to figure out how to cover the owl and tree art. Right now it is just paper glued to an art board. I want to find a way to make it look seamless and maybe vintage.

Well, last appointment this afternoon before the big day! Pray that her lungs are mature on Monday morning so we can just get her out! We feel like every hour we go is a gamble, so lets just do this!

As you can tell by the countdown clock…we only have a few more days. Yes, it had been decided a few weeks back that we have to do a c-section. It was a particularly rough day for me to give up my dreams of a VBAC but I am owning it now and have moved on. It doesn’t have to be a traumatic c-section. I can drink some tea on the way to the hospital and waltz right in and get her out. The more I say it, the better I feel. I am scheduled for an amnio at 7:30am on Monday morning and a c-section at 1:30 in the afternoon! I tried to refuse the amnio but of course “hospital rules.” They won’t deliver early without doing it.

Well, this past Monday didn’t really go the way I thought it would go. Lets just consider it a “dry run” for when we DO go into the hospital to have this baby.

Monday morning, I was having some slight cramping, felt like my period was going to start. Now, the logical side of me knew that it was probably just braxton hicks…but the freaked out part of me was thinking it was a very similar feeling the night Everett died. There really is no difference…my placental abruption felt like labor and had all the classic labor signs. My doctor asked me to track the contractions…I started at 9:30 this morning and as we got closer to noon, Dale and I just felt too nervous. I of course had been feeling her move and listened to her heart rate -she seemed to be just fine. I called my nurse again with a report and she was going to let me just keep tracking and if anything changed to call in. I interrupted her and said, honey, I would feel better coming in. These feelings are eerily similar to 2 years ago. When I said that, she said, OH!! Go straight to the hospital right now. I was 10 minutes from the hospital, on my way to pick up Lindy from her theatre camp class at her daddy’s work -super convenient. The minute I saw Dale, I burst into tears. A mixture of emotions. He dropped everything, we had a dear friend at the same camp that was able to help with Lindy. I drove myself to the hospital, Dale was not far behind, just trying to arrange details for Lindy. I was taken to triage and the kind nurse let us listen for the heartbeat first before doing all the paperwork. A beautiful heartbeat. Sigh of relief.

We monitored the heartrate and contractions for hours and then my doctor came in an checked on us. I LOVE that she is on the same page. She requested that we stay the night just to monitor everything closely. There was no cause for concern, everything looked just fine. She brought an ultrasound machine in to check the placenta and everything looked great. We were emotional wrecks those first few hours. We were still in triage, so a small room with a bed that the mattress kept falling out from underneath me. So uncomfortable to have to lay on your back on a bed like that. Had to get an IV since I was not allowed to eat after midnight…just in case we had to deliver the next day. I HATE IVs. I can’t stand feeling them, looking at them, or knowing that they are there. Ugh. I probably didn’t move my hand for 10 hours because it had an IV in it. At midnight, they finally moved us to a birthing suite -a more comfortable place for the night. It was heaven compared to triage. Dale had a pull-out bed and I could lay on my sides with these new baby monitors that worked no matter what.

The ironic thing is that our bags were “packed” but I had taken everything out to double check that day and left it all over the bed -so they weren’t really packed anymore. ha. Not very helpful. Needless to say, they are packed and in the trunk of my car now.

So, that was our trial run.

Yesterday was particularly rough. I think I listened to her heartbeat at home 16 times (thanks Mindy for the monitor!!!). Yesterday was the day I had my placental abruption two years ago. 36 weeks, 3 days. Every ache and pain I have sends me into hyper sensitivity mode. Trying to remain calm yet not wanting to ignore anything. I can’t go to the hospital everytime I feel a contraction and yet I don’t want to ignore anything that could possibly be happening.

Our “lists” of things to do before she comes is dwindling. If she decides to come today, we are “ready” at home, have everything set into place. Dale has been nesting for me -what a great guy. Literally staying up until 2am, cleaning house. Last night he mopped all the wood floors on his hands and knees. Only because his wife is psychotic and wants those things done. All the laundry is done and put away. The bills are paid, letters mailed out, dog is getting groomed tomorrow, pedicure on Friday…not that any of this matters in the grand scheme of life; but it feels good to be prepared.

35 Weeks

I gotta go take a nap now. That tired me out.

Later today…pictures of the finished nursery!