Spring Break 2011 was extra special for us this year, primarily because Dale had been working super super fulltime between school and work and he had about 5 days completely OFF. We planned a trip to NYC -my (Hannah) first time EVER (The greyhound station at 5am one morning does not count) and all we knew was that we wanted to see 2 Broadway shows and we had less than 38 hours to do so. So we traveled to DC, hung out for a few days with my sister and family and they were able to take a few days off of work to watch Lindy while we were gone. So, bright and early Wednesday morning, Dale and I boarded a MegaBus bound for NYC!

We got the front row seats on the top -a VERY nice view. We were able to sleep most of the way and woke up right outside of the Lincoln tunnel. I didn’t care how long the bus ride was…I was pretty much elated to have my husband’s undivided attention for the next 38 hours.

First stop? Empire State Building. I was impressed by the line system they had going on in the building. I kept thinking, “Oh, it is right around the corner.” Had there been 500 people ahead of us, I would have been cranky. Luckily, we were in a line of about 50 people, so we made our way through the line efficiently. I would HAVE NOT waited in a line with 500+ people and I’m sure many people do. To give you an idea of how fast we made our way through. We got off our bus, walked to the Empire State Building and came down in the first hour and a half in New York. FAST. Forgot to use the bathroom before we got all the way back to the bottom. Had to find a bathroom!

Found a bathroom on our way to Pennsylvania Station. Couldn’t miss a restaurant along the way…can you see what it is above? We sent Lindy a picture message and she loved it.

We were on a hunt for a restaurant for lunch BATHROOM. Found a pizza joint but not bathroom, skipped it. Found another place, Cafe Metro and took advantage of the facilities. Never realized how much I’d miss a bathroom when I am pregnant and in a city where they are not easy to come by. Ate some pizza and salad and then started walking towards Times Square.

Quick stop in Grand Central Station. Between lunch and our first show, we had an hour to spend in Times Square. So, we tried to catch a bus. Now, we are both city folk, we have some street smarts…promise. So, we jump on a bus, pull out our dollar bills and guess what? They don’t take dollar bills? We had to have coins or a transit card. !! Ugh. So, we hoofed it to Times Square.

Times Square was incredible. Absolutely amazing. I have never had any real desire to spend time there or care to do so…but I could have stood there for hours soaking it all in. Yes, it was pure commercialism but it was almost art to see everything going on. Amazing. The weather was nice, the sun was out, and we were able to just stand there in the middle staring at everything.

The popular American Eagle corner. I was proud to work for AE Headquarters when they were planning/developing and building this spot. Sure do miss those years but wouldn’t trade them for my time with Lindy. On a side note, when the video stopped playing for the 2 seconds in-between, you would have thought the world was ending. It is a VERY dark corner when all of the 16 (I don’t know how many) screens go black!!

We enjoy watching 30Rock, so Rockefeller center was next. A quick stop in the Lego store and then off to see Wicked. I have wanted to see it forever and could not wait. We have some amazing friends that bought us tickets to the show, thanks C and J! The show was incredible. As good as expected. In my mind, I thought Elphaba and Galinda were sisters?! So as the story continued, you’d imagine my surprise, when I found out the real story. ha. LOVED it.

After the show, we were on a hunt to find a steak dinner AND of course…can you guess? A bathroom. As we have now covered a few miles on foot, I am starting to get tired. Not cranky yet, but on the verge. Find me a bathroom and some food, FAST. We turned a corner and found a lovely steakhouse, complete with bathrooms.

Now, the shoes, I thought were going to be “perfect” for the trip are not quite holding up. Come to find out, as Dale turned them over, they were completely worn through on the bottom! So, a quick shopping stop in Times Square before our 8 o’clock Spiderman Turn off the Dark preview. Found some cute shoes, bought some socks and feet felt 101% more comfortable.

Well, I wish my blog review of Spiderman Turn off the Dark would make a difference in its existence but that show was ATROCIOUS. Good thing it is being pulled! Wow. We purposely bought tickets just so we could see what all the fuss was about and boy did we enjoy the fuss. Right before intermission, they had a classic malfunction with the flying rigs and the Green Goblin got stuck mid-air. It was so fun to see. They had to bring the house lights up and make an announcement. 15 minutes later, they skipped to the end of the act and pretended like all was okay. Now, the flying above the audience was really cool to watch. The flying on stage looked really really stupid. Basically, Spiderman had a metal diaper on his body with 6 wires coming out of it. It would have been cool if we were at the circus or an acrobat show…NOT Broadway. It was really really awful to watch him “wriggle” around through the wires. The female lead actress had no acting ability. The best we could equate it to was a Branson show or name your favorite amusement park and envision those corny shows. Come to find out, the night we went to the show, the director was fired…so I’m sure the cast was not on their game. I don’t think they can salvage what they have and once they get it right…I’m not sure anybody will care at that point. Here I am bored to tears. I almost fell asleep twice.

After the show, we booked it to the subway station and my lovely husband who is VERY savvy on reading maps, got us on some trains to the East Village where we were going to crash on some friends’ couch. It was late. Midnight and yet, our friend Guy was up waiting for us and gave us his time for almost an hour. It was nice to catch up. Rebecca joined us off and on as the baby was having a rough night. We crashed in their very humble space, 3 kids and all. We are VERY grateful for their generosity in hosting us. Albeit, they really didn’t have a choice. We sent them an e-mail with something along the lines of…we know you have a small space in NY, we will sleep on your floor if we have to. Please take us in!!!

We woke up to the gatherings of children and lunches as the kiddos were getting ready for school. Made me miss Lindy. It was also nice to see how another family runs and wow, the Wasko’s run pretty efficiently! They were up and ready to walk out the door in less than 45 minutes to catch their bus to school. Rebecca and the baby graciously walked us to a lovely diner and we had breakfast. A quick tour of where Guy and Rebecca have been called to, Trinity Grace East Village Church. Made us want to support the Wasko’s in their ministry…because now we have actually SEEN with our eyes what is going on in their lives. They are called to minister to the people in their neighborhood and feel very passionately about being Jesus to those around them and intentional about bringing others to Christ. You should check out their ministry.

Well, after our quick breakfast and tour, we rushed to the subway station (almost grabbed some snacks because I KNEW I’d be hungry on the bus, but we are too scared we will miss our train) to catch a few trains into the city to catch our Megabus home. Guess what we forgot to do when we had a chance? Yes, find a bathroom. So, we are standing in the megabus line…CAN’T get out of line because who knows where the nearest bathroom is. It was a LONG wait. Happy to finally get on board and find the bathroom. So, we board at 11:30ish and the bus ride is almost 5 hours long. I had not packed ANY food and come 3:00, my sugars are getting unusally low. I am eye-balling the kid sitting two seats down and all the snacks he had packed. Angry at myself for skipping the chance to buy corn nuts and Gatorade. I tell myself, worse comes to worse, I’ll beg the kid to give me a candy bar. We make it off the bus in DC and I have absolutely NO energy, no fuel and we have to walk to the subway station. Wow. I was a mess. We stopped at a Starbucks or something and I grab everything that looks appealing. I don’t think yogurt ever tasted so good. You would have thought I hadn’t eaten for days. Very dramatic. ha.

Catch a train to where my sister lives and then a cab to her house. Probably use her bathroom right away. I cannot quite remember.

A lovely trip together and grateful for the family and friends there were able to make it possible!

A fellow friend and blogger (and live in tenant) wrote a fun post on our crazy family. Shows you a little bit of our adventures. Check out her blog.

Well, we are halfway there. Lots of people ask how I am feeling and honestly, I feel amazing. Sooo amazing, that it scares me. For my past two pregnancies, I felt amazing as well -no complaints until with BOTH kids everything hit the fan at 36 weeks. I am relieved we have made it this far with baby Tres….which by the way…we had our appointment today and I was RIGHT. Baby #3 or Baby Tres is a girl.

Lots of people ask us how we feel about it being a girl. I don’t CARE at all what gender this baby is. But honestly, it feels “right.” It feels like the natural order of things, that even if we HAD Everett, 2 years later, we’d have a girl no matter what. If it was a boy, I’d feel a little like replacement therapy. Lindy is completely ecstatic about having a little sister. I told her that the baby could probably hear her now and the first thing she said to the baby, as she was leaning over and talking to my belly? “Baby, please don’t die” and the second thing? “Baby, please don’t die from mommy’s diabetes.” Dale and I could only smile and gulp down the knot in our throats.

Baby Tres -18 weeks

The first thing we wanted to see and hear was the heartbeat. I think my blood pressure went down the moment we heard it. A lovely sound. We told the ultrasound technician to tell us anything that she finds abnormal. Fluid around the kidneys, enlarged heart…ANYTHING. (I have read WAY too many tragic stories). I even asked her to make sure the umbilical cord wasn’t around her neck and make sure there wasn’t any band syndrome going on (yes, Charissa, thought of you). She said everything looked beautiful, great, perfect. yada yada yada. The blood from the previous 2 ultrasounds was gone, so that was a relief. She said we were done, but had to lay there and she’d come back to make sure more tests weren’t needed. She started to leave and then said, “let me take one more look, I forgot to look at something.” I should have known at that point. She stepped out. The doctor came in. Why in the world was I still thinking nothing was up? Well, he mentioned that there was a small “marker” on her heart. I’m not even sure what he called it because he followed it up with “more than likely it’ll just go away”. *sigh* I think I felt ok, again because there is nothing I can do and the doctor didn’t seem bothered at all by what they found. We had support group tonight and listening to all the stories of our friends brought it close to home for baby tres. I think every other story had someone saying “We found out at our 18 week ultrasound…that our child had….a fatal… and we know how their stories end. Dear God, PLEASE sustain this baby.

Just a precaution as a diabetic mother, I saw a neonatal cardiologist with Lindy and Everett at 24 weeks, my doctor recommended I go see her again with baby Tres. She will be able to give us a VERY clear answer on what this heart marker is if there is one, and what that means.

On a better note. I joke with my friends…my pregnancy is finally catching up with my fat…

18 Weeks

I ate 2 jars of these in the past 2 weeks. Actually 1 jar in 2 days and the other jar in 2 days. I did the same thing with Lindy. I wonder if it was the same week.

Of ALL things to crave and it is pickles for 2 days. So, not original.

My dear sweet Everett. Two years have gone by and I want nothing more than to hold you in my arms. Lord willing, we will have another child this year. She won’t replace you. I still long to know you my son. To know if you’d be harassing Lindy right now and getting into everything I didn’t want you to get in. To know if you would have AMAZING curly hair, just like your big sister. Having another baby will never make those thoughts go away. I think about baby Tres constantly, wondering how she is doing and if we can make it to the end together and bring her home.

Bad thing about life…is that nothing stops…when you want it to. I wanted Dale and I to be together all day. Too bad we argued all night last night and then this morning about his schedule. Ugh. It is hard to share Dale with 10 other people and I hate making him feel guilty about doing his job(s). He’s trying to please A LOT of other people and I try to be understanding. He was able to carve in some time this morning, we went to the cemetery to say hello to Ev. It was nice to finally get there and clean up after the winter. Our friends had placed a new wreath at the site -that was special.

We released balloons with messages to heaven.

We tagged along with Dale today, dropped him off for his 1:30 class and then secretly decorated his locker while we waited. Then we ran some errands with him which included a stop at Dairy Queen and back to Saltworks for tech rehearsal. We were able to hang out all night; at least we weren’t home alone.

I found myself talking a lot about Everett with Lindy. She wanted to know why we were buying balloons, why we we crying, why we bought the blue plant, why why why. She really seemed to sense our sadness and wanted to cheer us up. She wore a blue dress today “for baby Everett” and drew us a picture to “remind us of baby Everett.” I honestly think that if we had not spoken ONE word about his birthday, she would not have said those things. Makes me wonder if I am breeding some weird “you should feel sad too” feeling in her when she doesn’t need to be. I’ll put it on my list to talk to my therapist OR just start putting money away for Lindy’s counseling.

I don’t think Lindy needs to feel sad or feel she needs to cheer us up. I also don’t want her to grow up thinking life goes the way you want it to. Below is the picture she drew of baby Everett. She even put a hat on him (because all the pictures of him have a hat). Notice the eyes are closed. The red fishy looking things in the corner…”tears.” What a sweet little girl.

Thank you for all the calls, texts, e-mails and cards. To be honest, I found myself not answering a lot of the calls, primarily, because I don’t think I wanted to answer the standard question “how you doing?” I give all my friends and family COMPLETE credit for at least calling and asking, but answering that question is hard. If I truly answered it the way my heart was feeling, I would have cried 80 more times today. I know, I say, “please talk to me, ask me how I’m doing, talk about Everett” and yet today, I really didn’t want to talk…Thank you for remembering. It means more than you know. To know that Everett’s life is a part of yours brings us hope that God can use his short life for His glory.