I had my appointment on Monday and it was NOT an ultrasound appointment. It was just a chat session and then she wanted to listen for the heartbeat. Keep in mind, it is only 9 weeks, so super early. Well, she couldn’t find the heartbeat…It was NOT a good feeling as I lay there. I was re-living the hospital visit the night Everett was born. It took her almost 7 minutes to find it and THEN she DID. It was absolutely beautiful. Baby Tres is alive and we got to hear his existence.

So, week 12, we will do all the testing and another ultrasound to see how everything is progressing.

I’m growing more in love with you everyday baby Tres, mommy heard you…keep growing!

We are 9 weeks on Monday, thats when I’ll have a follow-up appointment. I’m not sure if this is an ultrasound or a let’s sit and chat appointment. It wouldn’t make sense to NOT do an ultrasound since the last one revealed internal bleeding, but I don’t think they have me scheduled for one. It’ll be a nice surprise if we do have an ultrasound.

After Christmas, when all my family left the house, I went upstairs to crawl into bed and found a beautiful book and card from my sister. It brought me to tears. Today, I received another card in the mail. They are absolutely beautiful and joyful cards and I LOVE getting them. It adds a little fun and personality back into pregnancy.

“Hi, it’s little ole me with message number two
My first photo shoot, what is a baby star to do
I was minding my business just getting some rest
Then a flash came, they didn’t even give me time to get dressed
At first I was wondering to myself why
Then I said “who cares, I am not shy”
So show me off if you must
Don’t worry, I won’t fuss
I hope it was as good as you thought it would be
Do not forget to hang up the first sonogram picture of me
Very soon I will write you again
Just keep telling me that you love me as often as you can

Love your Baby on the Way”

Cute hugh?

PHYSICALLY: I am T.I.R.E.D. I get out of bed in the morning and an hour later, I’m telling Lindy I need to take a nap. I am so tired, I think I could not get up in the morning and sleep through the entire day and night. In my head, I keep trying to figure out why I’m so tired and then I have to tell myself…I am pregnant. I probably sleep 10 hours at night and take 2 naps during the day.

I do have to eat a daily intake of prunes to keep my bowels happy. I’m sure you all wanted to know that. I NEVER had any slow moving intestines with my other two pregnancies, but maybe it’s because I’m getting one step closer to 30.

I’m trying really hard to control my diabetes perfectly like my last two pregnancies, but it has been a little weird this time. I can catch myself saying “It doesn’t matter, I was controlled with Everett and it didn’t matter.” I’m having a hard time with it. In 7 years of marriage, I have never once asked Dale to help keep me accountable. Rather, we’d fight anytime he’d “meddle” into my Diabetes regiment. It was a BIG taboo subject. This week, I asked him to keep me accountable.

I have ramped up the workouts again. Three days this week. My doctor did not recommend weight lifting OR running, so that was kind of weird for me. I had such a great routine going and my trainer and I were working well together. Then, I go back after the new year and my trainer had quadruple bypass surgery and won’t be back for months and my workout routine is null and void. I have to keep telling myself that every little bit is good. Better than nothing. So, I am swimming laps, fast walking on the treadmill and doing the elliptical. I want to continue to be as healthy as I can be and hopefully this exercising will help me lose weight in the long run.

EMOTIONALLY: Every ache, twinge, or slight pain causes my blood pressure to rise just a little bit. Honestly, I’m on edge for something to go wrong. I know that sounds awful but all I can say is I am an educated woman on “infant loss”. In the back of my mind, I wonder, if I lost this child, what would my conversation with God sound like? I know bleak stuff going on in my head!

I am proud to be the momma of my little Lindy Lou, her little personality has changed my life. Today we celebrated her 4th birthday!

Four years ago, I was preparing for my maternity leave which was supposed to happen in 2 weeks. I left my desk at work and told the girl that I was training that “I’d be right back” after my weekly doctor’s appointment. Ha. Those words echo in my ear. I never did get to train her on ANY part of my job because I was showing signs of preeclampsia at 36 weeks and the doctors thought it best to induce that evening.

Do you remember what we were doing that weekend? Or the prior 2 months? Oh yes, gutting our new house and putting it back together again. The weekend before Lindy was born, we had a moving party, where all our friends showed up to move our things from a 3rd floor apartment to our new house. I think I know why my blood pressure was up.

3 days of labor and my body was just not ready. Then, there seemed to be a doctor’s error at one point, I was receiving too much Magnesium to control the blood pressure and Lindy’s heart rate was not cooperating, so I was prepared for an emergency c-section and she was born within an hour but not breathing consistently. Apparently the excessive magnesium that I was on, was affecting her as well. Being at a small, non-city hospital, they were not equipped to take care of a child who was not breathing…so after I came out of post-op, I was told they were preparing Lindy to life-flight to the city. I got to touch her foot before she was wisked away and then I had to wait for FOUR stinkin days recovering from my c-section before I got to be with her.

Enough of this traumatic stuff.

I thought LAST year she got the birthday thing, but the years must just be getting more exciting…because we have been counting the days down to her birthday since Christmas.

The birthday party thing has been hard for me to figure out this year. She wanted to invite some friends over for a party , so we did. Since her birthday was mid-week, the party would be the weekend after her birthday. Then I realized we’d been counting down to her actual birthday, so she KNEW her birthday was in 5 days. Do I have 2 parties? One with just our family and then one with kids? Seems sooo excessive but I decided this year, we’ll do just that. Lindy asked for a “bird” cake so I attempted to make a fun one. We had her favorite dinner, spaghetti and meat balls then we opened presents and had some cake.

So, 4 days before her birthday, she asked for a wedding dress she could play with. I researched some companies online and it just wasn’t feasible to ship a wedding dress costume in 2 days for that amount of money. So, we went out on a limb and asked a dear friend of Saltworks if she could make a dress and SHE DID! IN TWO DAYS! FROM SCRATCH! She was absolutely amazing and the dress is perfect. Lindy LOVES it. She wanted to go to bed in it. Thank you P. P!