“Momma, when I get big and be just like you, you can build a little seat for me in your boat, make it longer and I’ll come ride with you!” -Lindy’s response to overhearing me tell Dale of my frustrations with rowing.

I used to LOVE rowing. Got excited every week to meet my team and get into the water. I enjoyed the sport, enjoyed the rush, REALLY wanted to win in competitions! Not so much anymore. I have rowed now for 3 years. Last year, the very last race, something happened that changed how I feel.

Some of you might remember the Head of the Ohio race last year in October. The race that was shut down early because of the extreme weather and water conditions. At least 3 boats got so water logged, they sunk. Well, our boat had to race in those conditions before they shut it down and it was a really really really bad race. Really bad for me and I cannot mentally shake it. I’m even talking to my therapist about it. ha.

Needless to say, I kept “crabbing” on the boat; Check out this YouTube video of what “catching a crab” looks like. My oar kept getting stuck under the water. When that happens, you have to immediately lay FLAT in the person’s lap behind you, and try to get the oar out, all the while trying to get it out QUICKLY because you’re slowing the boat down and it might have to stop completely to get it out of the water. After it happened 18 times, I stopped counting and about threw up in the boat. NOT a good way to end a perfect season when I NEVER crabbed once prior to that.

My coaches keep telling me that to crab that much, there must be extreme weather, the other people in my boat were not doing well either, and/or I had a equipment problem with my rigger or oar. I’d like to say “D” all of the above. Needless to say, I have been TERRIFIED to get back in the boat this season. I have maybe enjoyed one night out of 10 and I just can’t seem to get back into the love of it. Literally, my Thursdays are ROTTEN because I am stressed and tense and upset about rowing at night. It is this very irrational fear of catching a crab that I can’t seem to mentally shake, even though I’ve done just fine for the past 3 months. It doesn’t help that my team has also morphed into this male dominated, competitive team that has no fun anymore. They are just in it to win it.

Makes me sad. I don’t want to give up and my therapist pretty much won’t LET me give up.

Everytime I get off the water, I’m thinking of excuses to not go out again. I can’t seem to relax and find that love anymore.

I don’t think I can handle 3 more months of bad Thursdays, but I am still signed up. Gotta beat this.

It is 10:45 right now, Lindy is asleep and Dale and I are spending quality time on the computers. I thought I’d catch up on some blogging.

Thank you for all of your love the past two weeks. I had to share the rest of the story…the story you don’t know about…

Sunday evening, after the “Coma Incident,” my sister April in Japan called me and said that she had felt the urge to pray for me on Sunday morning. *now keep in mind, she is 13 hours ahead* She said they all went to church and she couldn’t get past this feeling to pray, so they all prayed for me there and then they went home for lunch and prayed some more. So, roughly 9pm Saturday night MY time and then again at 11pm. WOW. I didn’t even know how to thank her…how do you thank someone for speaking to God on your behalf?

Then…as I was visiting with my therapist a few days later… A woman who has this amazing spirit and love of God that I respect so much. I hadn’t yet told her what had happened. She started saying that she felt the need to pray for me the other day and so she had gotten out my file and started praying for some things. I asked her what day. You guessed it. Saturday.

“Hannah, God wants you to know He still cares. You are still important to Him.”

I know. I am trying to soak in those words without questioning everything. I keep saying, but did you have to almost take my life? Couldn’t you have just sent someone to my door with a word from the Lord?

Speak Lord, I am listening.

We had a bit of a scare last night.

I adjusted the settings in my insulin pump earlier that day but did it incorrectly. I adjust my pump maybe once a year…

Apparently at 4am, I went into a coma like state. Somehow I woke Dale up (I think God did). I have no idea how I did it, I was in a coma. Dale said I was unresponsive when he turned over to see what was going on. My eyes were open, not moving and I was not able to speak.

Dale quickly called 911 got me some juice and then tested my sugar, 47 at that point. It was probably less than 20 prior. (All folks should be between 70-100) Dale grabbed my emergency glucose pen and gave me the shot which we thought saved my life.

Dale got Lindy out of bed and took her to Jessa’s room to avoid the commotion. Ambulance and fire engines showed up.

I was unresponsive for about 15 minutes, but was slowly coming to. I woke up to what seemed like 8 medical response people and Dale.

I was freezing cold, had no good circulation, they had a hard time getting an IV in. All I could remember was how cold I was. I kept asking for Indiana….finally he came up. Peed all over the floor at seeing the commotion. Eventully ended up in bed with me. It was probably a full 45 minutes of chaos while they were trying to get me to eat and come to. Poor Dale was really the one getting me back -he was making me drink and testing my sugars constantly. I went from 147 to 47 and back again -I was all over the place. Finally I ate a donut, grapes, and some nasty pop and was able to sit up and stand. We let the medical folks go and Dale forced me to eat about 800 calories. gross. He was so sweet though. I remember him trying to warm me up, holding me and encouraging me. What a man. I love that guy.

I remember it felt like a dream and everyone was trying to wake me up. I kept hearing, “Hannah, Hannah, drink this, Hannah look over here, Hannah you’re going to feel a small poke (IV), Hannah and it just continued and I couldn’t respond. I had no control over my limbs and I wasn’t able to speak clearly.

We are both a little shaken. After all the food, my sugars bounced to 450. I was a bit leary about taking insulin, but took a little bit at a time until 6am. Dale stayed home from church for an hour, I was scared after I took some insulin and didn’t want him to leave me.

After talking through the details with Dale…I found out that when Dale gave me my glucose pen, he didn’t actually put the glucose part in the syringe -just the saline solution…I didn’t get any glucose from the pen! We know that God was with us last night.

As I was coming to, the medics were talking about how that night they were going back and forth from the Dave Matthews concert all night, so this was a welcome break. We had a good laugh.

I am still shaken and I’m letting my sugars run a little high. I made it to church this morning. Feel like I ate a picnic at 4am, so full and yet somehow super drained.

I’ve never gone into a diabetic coma, I guess there is always a time for firsts.

Monday, the 28th marked our 7th wedding anniversary and this week marks 10 years of knowing each other. wow.

This past Monday night, I was weeding the lawn, sweating profusely and really really dirty. My phone was on the porch and I started to hear my ringtone for text messages. It was one text, then another, then another, then another, then another….I finally jumped up, wondering what in the world was going on. The text messages telling me, “Hannah, get a fancy dress on, you have 45 minutes before Dale picks you up for your hot date.” I had NO IDEA Dale was planning something. Over forty messages later, from ALL OVER the country and from numbers I didn’t even recognize, I was dressed, ready to go on my hot date with my hubby. I was planning on making stir fry for dinner, nothing fancy, but Dale had other plans.

It was so fun to get the text messages, thank you to all of YOU who sent me a message. I wasn’t able to respond back to anyone because after 2 seconds of reading one, another one would come in!!

Dale pulled up in a suit, gorgeous red roses, and a snack to tie us over until dinner. We jumped on the incline headed up to Mt. Washington for our reservations at the GrandView Saloon restaurant overlooking Pittsburgh. Great in theory but an absolutely horrible restaurant. For just a taste of what happened while we were there…I killed 5 bugs in the window at our table and there was a hair in my salad. The food tasted like it came from the local school cafeteria, ARA Style. gross.

From the restaurant we had to kill some time before a late night movie, so we went and checked out the new casino (I know, I know, lets not get into the casino debates). Beautiful building but NO SMOKING RULES. Now, the smell of cigarette smoke is my BIGGEST pet peeve (sorry if you smoke). I cannot stand being within 20 feet of cigarette smoke and if someone lites up next to me and pollutes my air, I will let them know. Imagine getting into the parking garage of the casino and being smothered with the smell of smoke -you can imagine then what the casino was like. I was playing a slot game and the woman next to me lit up and the puff of smoke traveled over and covered my screen and MY lungs. gross. We stayed maybe 20 minutes and then left. No, we did not make any fabulous money.

Despite the bugs and fumes that night, we had a good laugh together.

Afterwards, we went to starbucks and then the movies. A great night celebrating 7 years. Dale is my best friend and I am still elated to be by his side.

Enjoy reading the vows we SHOULD have written 7 years ago!
Hannah:
I promise to always know where your wallet, keys and phone are.
I promise to refrain myself from hugging on you when you are sick because you hate to be touched when sick.
I promise to always scoop your ice cream into a bowl because it “tastes better” when I do it.
I promise to always beat you at basketball.
I promise to leave the leftovers on the stove until you put them away. Even if that means 4 days later.
I promise to always comment about how much you sweat after you exercise.
I promise to tune your guitar because you don’t have the ear for it.

Dale:
I promise to switch sides of the bed (alarm clock side) with you depending on who needs to be “responsible” in the morning.
I promise to always carry the laundry up and down the stairs.
I promise to always beat you at Monopoly.
I promise to be the one to drag myself off the couch to click “next episode” on netflix.
Whoever hears the baby or dog FIRST gets to declare that the other person has to deal with it.
I promise to run the garbage disposal because you will clean the entire house, spic and span and leave the food in the sink.
I promise to answer my phone at work and help you with car directions at least once a week.