Dale and I found a support group of couples who have lost children and we attended for our 2nd time last week. The couples meet monthly and the first month we went, there were 3 couples and 3 women whose husbands won’t come for numerous reasons. I can’t imagine Dale making me go by myself.

The first week we were there, a lot of the couples were talking about their “walks” that were coming up such as “March of Dimes” or “Race for a Cure.” In passing, they mentioned that they’d add our son’s name to their balloon launch that they do every year. I didn’t really even think about it. When we met last week, that woman brought in pictures of her event and as I was looking through them, found Everett’s balloon. I broke down. A complete stranger, knew how much it would mean to us to have the memory of Everett live on. She took pictures of all of our kids balloons. I think they are beautiful.

A sweet young friend of Lindy’s asked about our feelings; having to see Everett’s room and having to walk by it all the time. I smiled and told her that the crib is very useful right now See picture on homepage. That is probably 8 loads of laundry that I just didn’t have the energy to put away. It was LITERALLY taller than me.

We didn’t make it to the cemetery on Monday, but hope to go sometime this week. I have some flowers to put on Everett’s gravesite.

We took Lindy for a bike ride yesterday for the first time on a seat that Dale scored from someone’s trash. We bought a helmet, Dale finagled the seat, and I was VERY anxious about putting her on the back of my bike. Scares me to death. All went well, I did not tip over the bike. Dale and Indiana ran alongside. Lindy literally giggled for about 5 blocks -she LOVED it. We also have the same shoes -my favorite shoes in the whole world -my Keens.

So, I am already very self-conscious about my weight gain and not being able to lose it like I did when I had Lindy…I go to my family doctor on Friday last week to get 2 immunizations in prepartion for my Guatemala trip. Apparently, they did not get ANY notes/results from my OB/GYN regarding my pregnancy and Everett. So…they didn’t even know I was pregnant. Anyways. I’m sitting in the office and a 3rd year student comes in and basically explains that I have to talk to him and then he relays everything to the Dr. and then the Dr. comes in to do the check-up. (so…basically double the time spent). He is asking me all these questions and I can’t quite figure out where to fit in that I was pregnant and lost my baby…so as he is done with his questions, I say…You might want to update my file that I had a C-section 3 months ago, a blood transfusion and my son was Stillborn. He was TOTALLY caught off guard and scribbles away at my chart -clearly writing it down for the Doctor. 30 minutes later the Dr. comes in and looks at my chart. This is our conversation:

Doctor: “It seems you have gained some substantial weight since the last time I saw you….you need to think about your calories and exercise” He keeps going and going and talking about weight gain. I can’t even get a word in edgewise. The student is squirming in the corner because he can’t interupt either. I finally interupt the doctor and say

Hannah: “You realize that I just gave birth to a baby 3 months ago?”

Doctor: “Oh yes, Yes, I see that now…and you’re TRAVELING with a 3 month old!?!?”

Hannah: “um”

Student wispering: “Remember…I told you…stillborn”

Doctor: “Oh, yes, I forgot.”

THE most awkward doctor’s visit ever. I’m grateful that Dale was able to take Lindy to work with him but sad that he wasn’t able to sit in that appointment with me. It was a little rough. Needless to say, I DID get my 2 immunizations and I’m looking for a new doctor.

I found some more cute pictures of Lindy and her couson Kellyn. Today is Kellyn’s daddy’s birthday. Happy Birthday Uncle Kavan!

Thank you to all of you who are supporting me in both prayer and monetary gifts for Guatemala. I’ve almost made it to the halfway point! We are also going to be holding a garage sale on Saturday June 13th as a fundraiser for Guatemala. If you have some stuff you’d like to get rid of but don’t want to hold your own sale, feel free to donate to our cause! Give me a call or e-mail me and we can arrange to meet.

As many of you know, I have been given the opportunity to be a member of a short term mission trip to Guatemala with a high school team from our church. We will be leaving the states July 11th and returning July 19th.

Missions and the Spanish language have been passions of my heart in the past and I have always desired to be called to a Spanish speaking area again to minister. I had never truly thought about joining the team this summer as I would have had a newborn; but, God knows our hearts and He gives us other ways to find joy in the midst of loss.

Our team will be partnering with 2 missionaries who are currently serving in Chichicastenango (Chichi). We will have numerous evangelism opportunities such as VBS, construction projects, drama, and possibly prison/orphanage visits. We will be visiting a few places that I had gone to when I went to Guatemala in 2002!

I want to share a few reasons, why I am excited about this trip. First, I will be helping to lead a group of high schoolers who I built relationships with when they were in Middle School! To catch up with them now -a few years later is fun to see how much they have grown! Second, is that I get to use the Spanish language! I’ve had 10 years of Spanish and feel that the words are there, I just need to use them. I look forward to communicating with the people we meet. Third, I have absolutely no idea what God wants to do through me in another country at such a time in my life but I am willing and excited about going to serve Him and His people. Although our agenda doesn’t say this, a part of my heart wants to minister to women who have gone through similar losses of losing children. Yes, it scares me to death to be so vulnerable with my team and with complete strangers that don’t speak my language…but I am willing.

For Those of You Who Pray

I know that many of you are still praying for Dale and I as we grieve the loss of our son Everett. Could you pray for me and my team and this trip? The Lord has laid 3 requests on my heart in preparation. There will be more requests -I will post them on this site!

1. Pray that our Team will be able to minister to the Guatemalan people in tangible ways.

2. Pray for God’s continued healing in my heart and that I would be able minister to other women.

3. Pray for Dale and Lindy as we determine the best schedule for Lindy while I am gone.

Another Way You can Get Involved

Since the death of our son, Everett, we have been overwhelmed by family, friends, and complete strangers who have blessed us with financial gifts for Everett’s memorial, hundreds of cards, gift cards for local restaurants, and meals for over a month. With all this generosity, Dale and I don’t feel that sending out support letters is appropriate. However, I am responsible for raising my trip cost of $1300 and I would like to give you the opportunity to support me! Since I have joined the team at a later time than most joined, I am on a tighter deadline to get everything together for the trip. Half of my trip costs are due June 1st.

To make the money thing look less daunting, I have broken it down into a few categories. I am looking for 2 people to donate $100, 10 people to donate $50, 10 people to donate $25, 10 people to donate $10. If you’d like to give a different amount than of the above, feel free to do so. If you would like to share financially in this ministry, you can make your checks payable to:

Allegheny Center Alliance Church

250 East Ohio Street

Pittsburgh, PA 15212

Simply write, “Hannah Harris- Guatemala Team” in the memo space so the money is directed into the appropriate account.

God has been faithful to me for 27 years and I know that He will be faithful in providing the prayer and financial support that I need to go to Guatemala. Thank YOU in advance for your prayers, thoughts, and gifts. Check back often for Guatemala updates -I’ll have a special spot on this site for on-going request and updates. I look forward to sharing with you what God is doing.

thank you!

As you can tell, I have been very good at posting these last few weeks, but I thought it was time to post what’s been going on.

Most recently, we just got back from Chicago where my sister Liz and her husband Kavan gave birth to baby girl, Kellyn Elizabeth WaiLan Yee on April 29th. We were proud to be around just hours after she was born and to help them as they transitioned home. Lindy and I were able to be up there for almost 12 days while Dale flew out of Chicago to work and flew back a few days later to drive home with us. A joyous time for them as they welcomed Kellyn into the world! We had our moments of sadness and tears, wishing that we had the same type of moments with our son. I wish with all my heart that we heard him crying, the sweet newborn smell, his eyes open, looking at us.

Above all, we are so glad that all went perfect with the birth and Kellyn is safe in her parents arms. They are all doing well!

I feel as though it as been a year since we lost Everett when it has only been a little over 2 months. The nursery has become the laundry/junk room. The thank you cards have almost all been written. We can find joy in a few more things. The graveyard is in full bloom, Everett is buried under a Magnolia tree. The piercing pain in our hearts is not as raw. The funeral plants are barely hanging on for life. I’ve read every “losing a child” book that is in print. We just have this sadness in our core that will never go away -a piece of our life that is missing.

I resigned from my job the first week in May and am officially a stay at home mom!! Dale and I have always wanted me to stay home with our children and we had planned for that to happen after Everett was born. I keep telling myself that it was not based on quantity of children but quality of care, so we have continued with our decision, even though Everett is not in our arms. A few weeks prior to my maternity leave ending, I went in to see my boss and told him that I would not be coming back after maternity leave. He was very gracious and understanding and I will miss him tremendously. We have worked well together the past 4 1/2 years. All my friends brought in breakfast on my last day and then I cleaned out my desk and said goodbye. A sad day but a good decision for my family. We are nervous about one income, but know that the Lord will provide; He always has in our lives.

Many of you might know that, missions and speaking spanish has been on my heart as I’ve grown and I’ve always wanted to go back to Guatemala. A high school group from our church is going to Guatemala in July and I have decided to join the group! I had never truly thought about it as I would have had a newborn, but God understands when losses happen and he gives us other ways to find joy. Dale has encouraged me to step out and serve and so I have unofficially joined the team. We will be traveling to Guatemala in July for a week. I am excited because the high schoolers are the group of kids that I was able to work with when they were in Middle School 3-4 years ago!

P.S. I finally did get the correct department about the hospital phone bill. They refunded everything.