A for Adventure

I found this video and thought it was hysterical. Made me laugh out loud. If you watch it, take just a few notes on what NOT to say to a diabetic -pretty much everything in this video.

Apologies about the title -I don’t use that word and think it is awful. We’ll just pretend it says “Stuff people say to Diabetics”.

Don’t get me wrong, I am ALL about educating people about the disease that I live with -but I couldn’t pass this video up.

I know this is a highly sensitive topic and very personal but I wanted to address it here.

Just read a blog that I’ve been following and the 5 month pregnant mother just found out that her child has some serious heart defects. She has 3 choices. Abort the baby, deliver the baby and let nature take over where the child will die within a week, or give birth and use every medical intervention possible to save the child.

I immediately commented on the blog (and tried not to be condescending in any way) and said, give the little guy a chance. I would give anything to see my son alive, even if only for 2 minutes. You don’t want to have any regrets. It’ll be a painful time whether it be 2 minutes or 2 years…

Out of 47 comments, I think only TWO of us said, KEEP YOUR BABY ALIVE.

wow.

Everybody kept saying “do what is best for your and your family.” “Your heart will tell you” “Any decision made from love is the right decision.”

WHAT.A.LOAD.OF.CRAP.

Killing your child is not a decision made from love. it is a selfish decision. Even if you say, “I’m doing it to protect the child.” No…more than likely you are doing it to protect YOURSELF. Yes, from all the pain that you will have to go through.

I have always been pro-life; but when I hear of educated woman who have a child in utero that they don’t want and then proceed to kill that child all in the name of love….I just really can’t stomach that thought. I get angry. Hence this blog post.

I am not condemning this woman, I am just deeply saddened that when given a choice, someone CHOOSES for their child to die.

SO CRAZY TO ME.

People say, “you won’t really know what you’d do unless you’re in that situation.” Yes, folks. I do know what I would do. I would NOT terminate the pregnancy. I would not willingly allow a doctor to stop my baby’s heartbeat forever.

I know this is a deep and very personal decision between couples and I have a hard time speaking my mind because I don’t want to get yelled at. I know I probably won’t change anybody’s mind who has already determined in their heart that they are going to abort their child but I just can’t sit back and say “whatever you want to do honey.”

That little boy deserves life, deserves to grow and change and kick and develop, even if he is not perfect. Why do WE get to decide who lives and dies?

I am deeply saddened by the crap in this world and how people truly believe there are no real “right or wrongs” anymore. And so many people ENCOURAGE others to just do what “feels right” for them and nothing else matters.

Again, I am not condemning but there really is right and wrong in this world.

If you have in the past, terminated a pregnancy, I am sure there is deep pain and sadness and guilt but also great sorrow over losing a child. I know part of that pain. I understand that sorrow. This blog is addressed to mothers who are contemplating terminating their pregnancy; I do not want to condemn those who already have. I don’t wish ANY guilt on anyone over their past decisions. Sucks enough if we have guilt, don’t need someone hitting us over the head with it.

I wish that no one ever had to go through the loss of a child -but PLEASE don’t CHOOSE to end the life of something so precious, a child, a blessing no matter what the outcome.

Child of rape, heart defects, no chance of survival. Miracles still do happen today. Each of these children are a gift.

And as I write this, I can’t help but think about the one decision where a mother has to choose HER life or her child’s life. If a woman is 18 weeks pregnant and the doctor says “you must deliver or you’ll die”. How can a mother with 2 kids and a husband at home make that decision? The baby would not survive at that age; but the 2 kids and husband need ‘mom’ around. Is that the only exception to the rule? Is it really an exception?

Can’t wait for God to restore His Kingdom where there will be no more tears. No more death. No more decisions like this.

Did you know this week was congenital heart defect awareness week?

I never in a million years would have thought that I would be an encyclopedia on how babies can die in utero let alone well versed in congenital heart defects. Mind you, Ruby had the heart defects that “if a kid has one, these are the ones you want”. I don’t know why people say that. Ugh. Doesn’t make one feel any better when they pass their 2 month daughter off to a surgery team who will stop her heart; but I understand that yes, it could have been a whole lot worse. I get that. I have experienced the “worse.” There is no pain like the death of your child.

After the loss of Everett, and over a year of secondary infertility, we secretly thought that God owed us a perfect pregnancy and birthing experience with our third child and maybe even a baby that was a good sleeper and a good eater…

ha.

We didn’t necessarily get those things, but we wouldn’t trade any of it for our Ruby, born July 25, 2011 with congenital heart defects. Ruby had joined the statistics, she was the 1 out of 100. We struggled with the feedings and sleeping, we were in and out of the hospital but most importantly her heart was successfully repaired on October 6, 2011.

1 in 100, that statistic is SO INCREDIBLE. I think awareness is out there in the world, but only to those of us and our friends and families who have experienced CHD. I think there needs to be more education and help for newly diagnosed children and families with all the feeding issues that occur. We were kind of just sent home with our newborn and expected to just look for a few symptoms.

fussy while eating.
sleepy…

ya know, the things that MOST newborns encounter. We felt so helpless and like we were doing something wrong, when in fact, her heart defects were the true reasons we were having such a hard time with feedings. Looking back, it is always easier to see what the problem is, but in the moment, it is terrifying. I’m so glad those days are behind us.

Ruby is holding her Beads of Courage, an amazing nationwide organization that supplies hospitals with beads for children who undergo multiple treatments/surgeries or things that involve courage. Ruby got A LOT of beads and each one represents something that was done to her. She has beads for things like: IV starts. She has 7 of those beads. EKGs and X-rays: 13 beads. Visits from PT or OT: 15 beads. Her heart bead for cardiac surgery and the list goes on and on.

When I see her beads, I wish with all my heart that my brother would have had the beads of courage. Of all people, he deserved them. 8 years of cancer…would have probably given him 20 necklaces. I have NO IDEA why MD Anderson in Texas or Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MIN would not have started him on this program. Makes me sad to think he missed out on it.

Conceived by our second attempt at an IUI, Ruby is our miracle baby on many levels. Thank you Jesus for giving us this gift in Ruby.

A couple of bloggers have decided to join up with other moms for a Pinterest Awareness Challenge for CHD Awareness. Check out some of the amazing stories. Ours will go up soon..

To read the history of Ruby’s heart defects start here

It is time for a new camera. We’ve known for some time. I delayed on taking pictures because I KNEW this was going to happen. Anybody else NOT do something because its just not going to turn out the way you want it? That is the perfectionism in me. It is pretty bad.

See what I mean?

We are doing some research. So far, I think the Canon Rebel is my top choice. Anyone have any recommendations? Something that is pretty professional. My point and click camera’s days are coming to an end. I can change the settings, but just not enough to keep up with these girls AND I want some higher quality photos. Maybe a new camera will automatically make me a good photographer? ha. I say that with LOTS of sarcasm, HOPES, but still sarcasm.

Sweet Ruby turned 6 months on January 25th. She is getting so big. As of two weeks ago, she is rolling BOTH ways, now to include rolling from her stomach to her back. And this week, she started getting up on all fours; only when she is angry, but hey, that is progress. I think she’ll be starting to crawl by March.

Found the sticker.

eating the sticker.

She is eating all the stage 1 foods and is loving the peas and sweet potatoes. Not so much the bananas. We’ve gotten into a routine now and things are not as crazy with feeding her. Sleeping, on the other hand, this girl is NOT a girl after my own heart. She does NOT need as much sleep as I think or as much as a babywise baby. Seriously. At night, she is fabulous, 8pm until 6:30 or 7am. Daytime naps are spotty and usually only an hour. Drives me NUTTY that she isn’t taking those big naps that I remember Lindy taking, but if she is not cranky after one hour -how can I be upset?

found the legwarmers. eating the legwarmers. P.S. I bought these legwarmers months ago and when I put them on Ruby…I hate to say it…but she looked like a burn victim. Now, for some reason, maybe it is the shirt combo, they look just fine.

found the bow. eating the bow.

I need to do more legwarmers and big bows. They are so much fun!